Billy Goat Tavern & Grill

Posted by Edmund in Chicago, Featured Articles, Gastropub, Restaurants | 1 comment

Cuisine: Gastropub/Slow Fast Food Burger.
Location: Numerous Locations in Chicago, but the original is at 430 N. Michigan Ave.
Price: $2.85 for a cheeseburger. No menu item exceeds $6.

It was St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago, and I was in the mood to go to some traditional Irish pubs for a good beer and a burger, i.e. some real American food that I could get my hands a bit dirty with. I had just eaten a fantastic burger at Custom House Tavern, but it was way too upscale for St. Patty’s, so I went over to Billy Goat Tavern to get in a quick meal between lunch and dinner (Don’t ask where all that food goes. My stomach’s a black hole).

Be wary, though: This place is literally a dump. It’s what you would get if you interbred an Irish pub with McDonald’s—and, unsurprisingly, the offspring is somewhat of a freak show. The interior was decorated all over with touristy advertisements, newspaper articles, and St. Patty’s paraphernalia (e.g. four leaf clovers), but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You also get some things that are just plain odd, like a big goat’s head hanging on the wall (matching the name, I’d assume) and a provocative poster explaining why a beer is better than a woman—kind of tacky, but fun for some I guess.

That’s not to say the place was bad—you just need to know that it is, more or less, a fast food joint with some alcohol. Go in there expecting a dump, instead of thinking you’re going to get a true gastropub burger experience.

For a fast food burger, though, Billy Goat Tavern was a pretty good spot, though the cheeseburger was extremely simple. The burger is, in fact, as bare-bones as burgers get, as it comes only with the buns, patty, and cheese, with a couple toppings, like onions, on the side. That said, for what it was—a well-cooked burger with few unique ingredients—it was great, and if you enjoy simple, classic burgers, you will probably love this. It’s just too plain to excite me, but I’d still give at least a thumbs up to it. I can’t say the same about the fries, though, which were mushy and bland to the point that I’d never order them again.

Billy Goat Tavern & Grill, then, is as odd as they come. Tacky beyond belief, it still serves up a great burger at one of the cheapest prices around. It doesn’t really have the supporting cast necessary for a true burger combo, but if you’re in the mood for a classic burger in Chicago, this one might be worth a shot. Just remember, it’s more like McDonald’s than a gastropub.

What I Tasted

1.  French Fries

These are some really thick fries. I’m honestly not a fan of the style, so I do admit to having some bias against these, but I’ll try to judge them objectively. They have somewhat of a light fry, so that they aren’t too golden but have a very slight crunch. On the one hand, that makes them a lot lighter and slightly fresher, since you don’t get so much of a cloying greasiness. On the other, they seem to be a lot more bland, as they have a heavy, mushy potato taste. They just don’t seem to be cooked enough, nor are they seasoned at all except with some salt. In turn, these fries taste almost like a boiled potato with some oil on it. Very dull. 0.5-1.0/5.0.

2.  Cheeseburger

I’m not going to lie—this is about the plainest cheeseburger I’ve ever had in my life. It’s somewhat of a create-your-own-burger like you’d find at Fuddruckers, where you get the patties and buns and put on whatever you want. The problem, though, is that there are practically no toppings to choose from—you only have white onions, relish, ketchup, and mustard.

Regardless, it’s a fantastic burger, for two reasons. First, the bread is phenomenal—very buttery, soft, and a bit oily on the inside. I can’t really say what type of bun it is, but it reminds me somewhat of a mix between a burger bun and a ciabatta, with more thickness than a usual burger bun and with a crunchy, salted top. And since the burger has so few toppings and such small patties, those buns never get droopy from too much weight or from soaking up oil or sauce. The buns are just a bit too doughy, which normally wouldn’t be a problem, but in this case that doughiness sometimes overshadows the taste of the meat.

The second main draw is the beef. Its grease is very controlled, so it doesn’t drip all over the place, but you still get a savory oiliness all over your whole mouth. Also, since the patty is so small, it’s very easy to cook it evenly thoughout, and you get none of the mushiness that you usually get in thicker patties.

Finally, the cheese was just a simple American cheese—nothing too special about it. My one complaint about it was that too little was provided, meaning there were points when you just couldn’t taste it much at all.

Overall, this was a great “classic” burger, especially for fast food. If it just had some extra fresh ingredients and maybe some sauce, I’d recommend it. 3.5/5.0

Scoring

Ambience: 0.0/5.0
Taste: 2.2/5.0
Value: 3.5/5.0. Much better priced than most burgers, but also unusually small.
Overall Score for the Burger (value considered): 3.5/5.0
Overall Score for the Restaurant: 2.0/5.0