Poag Mahone’s Carvery and Ale House

Posted by Edmund in Chicago, Featured Articles, Gastropub, Restaurants | 0 comments

Cuisine: American, Bar Food.
Location: 333 South Wells, Chicago, IL 60604.
Price: $7-$9 for most burgers.

Imagine the scene. It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and I’m in Chicago doing a tour of the burger scene. My next stop is Poag Mahone’s, an old-fashioned Irish pub, located right in the center of the city. As I head over, I see a 10 minute-long line sprawling out the pub’s door, the majority of people already drunk at 2 pm in the afternoon. I am swept up in a loud, raucous flurry of noise, half-irritated, half-entertained, and all-surprised.

I think, though, that once I get inside, it’ll be a bit tamer. Maybe I’ll get a seat, have a little table to myself, and get away from the crowd.

But no, not even there. As I walk inside, I am literally jammed in an endless, ever-moving line of people pushing past each other, attempting to get one of the coveted few tables. It doesn’t help, either, that the pub just happens to decide, at the very moment I walk in, to put on a performance with live Irish river dancers and bagpipe players. Add in the loud traditional Irish music playing through the speakers, the tacky four leaf clovers, beer ads strewn across the wall, and caricatures of famous celebs, and you’ve got a pub that is as “Irish” as it gets.

Still, I do have to admit, it was quite the impressive scene, even if was only for a holiday/celebration. Poag Mahone’s really is the place to go if you’re looking for a good, raucous time, and while I’m not a big fan of Irish pubs, I found a slight charm to this one that you normally don’t get in the others. The reason is that everything is about as over-the-top as it can get, and yet Poag Mahone’s has a cleanliness about it. I actually can eat a burger here, without thinking it’s a hellhole at all. I didn’t find any graffiti or markings on anything, and it’s spacious, with a dining area that’s separate from the bar area so that, as you’re eating that burger of yours, you don’t feel like you’re crammed in a jail cell. It’s tacky, but still one of the better-looking Irish pubs I’ve seen.

As for the service, it was, not surprisingly, very slow, since it was one of the busiest days of the year for the pub. I will say, though, that my waitress was friendly and approachable, though she was nowhere to be found and though she forgot to bring me the water I requested, only remembering after I had finished the meal. Still, in all fairness, I can’t fully evaluate the service because of the hectic holiday.

I was not here, however, for a 4-star experience, but rather for a burger that has countless times been called one of Chicago’s best. While Poag’s features a menu of about 10 or so different burgers, I decided to keep it simple, going with the BLT. For a no-frills burger, it was great, coming with deliciously oozing cheese, a very succulent patty, and bacon that was well-cooked and chewy, rather than too crispy. Unfortunately, the burger was burnt in the crust, and the meat was over-charred and very bland, dropping the burger far, far below what I would consider “best of Chicago” quality. At least the $8 price tag (without fries) was fair, especially compared to most of the other restaurant burgers in town.

The selection didn’t impress, either. Even with the 10 or so options, most choices at Poag Mahone’s are simple variations with a different sauce, a different cheese, and maybe some extra veggies, but very few stand out as all that innovative—that is, you can probably make most of these burgers at any joint with a fairly traditional selection of different toppings. I do, however, give credit for a couple options, like the Grilled Turkey Burger, which comes with salsa, avocado, and chipotle mayo. Moreover, the bar has a large selection of sandwiches, salads, and typical bar food for those who aren’t fans of the whole burger craze.

Still, Poag Mahone’s isn’t the type of place I’d go to have a bite. While I did have a fun time, it wasn’t due to the highly acclaimed burger, which was great but not enough to get me to return. Poag’s is, however, still a great spot for a drink.

What I Tasted

1) French Fries

These are a lot better than I expected. They’re somewhere in between thick and thin fries, but they have an amazing crispiness. The fries are practically golden, which is always a nice color to have. They’re also salted, but the salting isn’t overdone, so you can really taste the batter and potato. However, they have a heavy oiliness that stays on the breath for quite a while, and they do have some mushiness in the middle. 2.8/5.0

2) BLT Burger (American Cheese, Bacon, Tomato, Onion)

I loved almost everything about this burger, with the exception of the burnt crust and the lack of seasoning on the beef. I’ll take on the ingredients one by one. First, the central ingredient, the beef. Like most steakhouse burgers, this one has a thick patty that’s extremely succulent, though it’s cooked very nicely through, without much mushiness in the center at all. The problem, though, is that it’s slightly overcooked/charred/burnt on the top. I asked for medium, yet it tastes more like it’s well-done. Moreover, the beef has very little seasoning on it, relying on the other ingredients for flavoring. It doesn’t even have a sauce, so the flavorlessness and the burning come out as even worse. While I could add ketchup, I prefer not to so that I can taste the beef, but I think this one might need the ketchup anyway.

The bacon is cooked very well, though it is extremely oily. It isn’t too crispy, like you normally get it, and instead it has a really nice chewiness. It also has a fantastic smokiness that gradually becomes stronger and stronger as you savor it.

The bun is very nice, too, as it’s thick, but not doughy at all. It’s a traditional bun, but it withstands the beef without drooping or crumbling.

The cheese, though, is where the burger kicks it up a notch. It’s just plain American cheese, but it’s oozing all over, glued to the meat. Proper distribution, good texture, and good quantity are all here, and that’s all you can ask for.

Finally, I do like the fresh veggies. Nothing is oily or cooked, so there’s a blast of freshness to help lighten the oiliness of the bacon and the meat.

3.5/5.0 The burnt smokiness absolutely kills it.

Scores

Ambience: 3.5-4.0/5.0, depending on your tolerance of Irish pubs and loud music. For me, a flat 3.5.
Service:  1.9/5.0. (Not formally evaluated. Evaluating service on their busiest day of the year would be like timing a runner with a broken leg).
Taste: 3.2/5.0
Value: 3.0/5.0. Good price for a “gourmet,” fresh burger, but the quality isn’t as good as I’d like
Overall: 3.4/5.0