Wiener Circle

Posted by Edmund in Chicago, Fast Food, Featured Articles, Restaurants | 1 comment

Cuisine: American, Bar Food.
Location: 500 South Dearborn Street, Chicago, IL 60605-1532.
Price: $12 for a burger.

There are very few things that scream “Chicago” quite like a good hot dog, as I’d expect of any good baseball-loving city. And I’m not talking normal hot dogs—I mean hot dogs stuffed to the brim, overflowing with toppings, flavors, and delicious, succulent beef. That’s to say, they actually have character to them—none of those flimsy, boring dogs you find at most vendors.

So when I heard about the Wiener Circle, I was immediately intrigued. Not only do they serve up monstrously overloaded dogs, you get them with a side of true Chicago attitude—shameless swearing, cursing, and profanity. Let me clarify with some imagery.

Imagine sitting in a small, hole-in-the-wall, run-down little hotdog shack that looks like it’s been through a 7.0 earthquake. It’s dark, drab, and scribbled all over with graffiti. You’re just enjoying a hot dog, minding your own business. In walks a drunken stranger, who is obnoxious, loud, and just a bit rude. All of a sudden, a whole flurry of profanity breaks loose—and I don’t mean from the customer! The cashier starts yelling out f-words, cursing at the customer’s mother, etc. Nobody seems to mind at all, either—in fact, the audience looks on, entertained rather than mystified, and it goes on with its normal conversation.

That was my experience late one night at Wiener Circle—something I just can’t forget, not so much because of the quality of the food, but because of the quality of the people. Really, this isn’t for the tame of heart. The cashier treated me with respect, so it’s not random profanity. Still, be ready with your order, and don’t mess with the workers! They really have a powerful arsenal that they’ve mastered through weeks, months, and years of training in the art of slander (and yes, the way they do it, I would classify it as an art).

That being said, the service really livens up the drab interior and the meal. It really was the highlight, since the hot dog and the fries themselves really weren’t anything to talk about. In fact, they were just plain bad. The whiz cheese on the fries was plain nauseating, the hot dogs were a mess with a ton of conflicting toppings that tried to cover up for a dull beef dog, and the bun was as plain and tasteless as could be.

So, how do you judge the Wiener Circle? Well, at the time I didn’t enjoy my meal at all, thinking I got ripped off. But, you know, this is actually one of those times that I don’t mind, since I got a nice show out of it. If you want a phenomenal hot dog in Chicago, steer clear of the Wiener Circle. If you want simple fast food in a unique, colorful place, though, you might want to check it out once just to get a good kick.

What I Tasted

1. Cheese Fries: Disgusting. The fries themselves are okay, but they’re extremely greasy and deep-fried, to the point of dripping oil all over. On the positive side, they’re on the thinner side and have no mushiness at all, though that’s partially because of the intense frying that’s caused so much oiliness. The big downfall, though, is the whiz cheese—it’s a thick, gooey glob that’s much thicker than any nacho cheese I’ve seen, and the flavor is that of bad American cheese. The problem is that there’s so much cheese in there that it’s really thick, gritty, and oily, making the fries hard to eat. 0.0/5.0
2. Vienna Red Hot (Grilled Hot Dog): I got this dog with the works: a huge pickle, tomatoes, tons of pepper and salt, mustard, relish, and raw onions. The ingredients themselves aren’t bad, but they’re a lot to eat, and the beef itself is overshadowed in large part by that overload. Nor is the beef all that flavorful. It has an okay snap on the casing, but it’s not extremely succulent or well-seasoned, so it really over-relies on the other ingredients. Those ingredients, though, taste just like they’re thrown together without any thought. Especially bad is that they’re overflowing with pepper and salt, completely overpowering the taste of the fresh veggies. Finally, the bread is just tasteless, i.e. it’s just fluff. 0.5/5.0
3. Char Dog (Charred Hot Dog): This dog is still low on the beef flavor, but it’s a little bit better, largely because it has a nice smokiness to it that gives it a slight BBQ taste and makes the otherwise bland flavor a bit more interesting. The toppings again are horrible, and just to eat the dog I had to take off the tomatoes and pickle, the two ingredients on which the pepper and salt were loaded. After that, I could actually taste the meat, which, again, came off better than I expected. But again, the other ingredients and the poor, flavorless bun really add nothing to compensate for the meat’s problems. 1.0/5.0

Scores

Ambience: Impossible to judge—It depends solely on the person. 0.0 for the squeamish. 3.0-3.5 for people who like to get their hands dirty and/or swear. (Not factored into overall score)
Taste: 0.5/5.0
Value: 1.0/5.0
Overall: 0.7/5.0